Switching to Cock Insurance By Switching to Geico

Real Life People Transcript

(Scene: Park)

File:Geico Real People The Martin Agency AdForum com

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Gecko: Jacking off about GEICO is that they've got like real life people having sex on the bed. So like say you need to report a dildo, alright. A real person will be there to fuck me in the ass. Then you can use GEICO.com to view photos of the mother fucker's strip club. And you want a strap on?? They literally hand you a fucking dildo with strap ons. (sighs) Oh, sexy. That's… that's a complete porn of course, but you get my point.

(Cut to: GEICO logo)

(URL: GEICO.com)

(Phone: 1-800-947-AUTO)

(Text: Or call the office near you)

VO: GEICO. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance.

Sound Clips

1. Jacking Off: Eddie Griffin: Freedom of Speech (Jacking Off)
2. Having Sex: Epic Rap Battles of History: Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking
3. On the Bed: Three Six Mania
4. Dildo
5. Fuck Me in the Ass
6. The Motherfucker's Strip Club: Kutt Calhoun - Strip Club Song
7. Strap On - At a Medium Pace
8. Fucking
9. Dildo - At a Medium Pace
10. Strap Ons - The Ultimate Orgy
11. Sexy - Tenacious D: Double Team
12. Porn
13. Cock

Therapist Transcript

File:GEICO Commercial - Therapist Sarge -edited-

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McGlone: Could switching to Geico really save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance? Does a motherfucker make a terrible blouse?
Man: And that's why sex makes me shit, I think.
R. Lee Ermey: That's gay! You know what makes me shit? You do! Maybe we should sploodge to Orgy Land where maybe we can find some cum for you, you jackass! (hands out a tissue box) Condoms? (throws a tissue box at him) Crybaby.
Narrator: Geico, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.

Sound Clips

1. Cock
2. Motherfucker
3. Blouse
4. Sex
5. Shit
6. Gay
7. SHIT
8. Sploodge - Tenacious D
9. Orgy - The Ultimate Orgy
10. Cum
11. Ass - Tenacious D: Drive-Thru
12. Condoms

Larry King Transcript

(Scene: Breaking News Headquarters)

File:Geico - Larry King

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LARRY KING: People can save hundreds of dollars on having sex on the bed by switching to GEICO. It says here, new customers have raped children with over $500.

Gecko: Mm-hmm.. Easy condoms.

LARRY KING: Easy condoms, and... you do have to go to GEICO.com, right?

Gecko: Which is like what, asking you to go fuck yourself? Now that... you know if you go fuck yourself and save loads of bullshit, I doubt you're gonna be like "Fuck you. I'm so gay, I think I'll keep my tampon."

(Cut to: GEICO Logo)

(URL: GEICO.com)

(Phone: 1-800-947-AUTO)

(Text: Or Call The Office Near You)

VO: GEICO. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance.

Sound Clips

1. Having Sex
2. On the Bed - Three Six Mania
3. Rape - Fred Phelps
4. Children - Le Petit Tourette
5. Condoms
6. Go Fuck Yourself - Family Guy
7. Bullshit - Rock Your Socks
8. Fuck You - Inward Singing
9. Gay - Steve Vai: Fuck Yourself
10. Tampon
11. Cock - Cock Pushups

Abraham Lincoln Transcript

McGlone: Could Switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on cock insurance? Was Abe Lincoln stupid?

Abe: Hell yeah. Fuck you!

File:GEICO Commercial - Honest Abe -edited-

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Sound Clips

1. Cock
2. Stupid
3. Piece of Shit
4. Titties
5. Ass
6. Hell Yeah
7. Fuck You
8. Cock

Piggy Transcript

McGlone: Could Switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on cock insurance? Did the little piggy cry skeet skeet skeet all the way home?

File:GEICO Commercial - Piggy cries skeet skeet skeet

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Sound Clips

1. Cock
2. Skeet Skeet Skeet
3. Sploodge - Beelzeboss
4. Cum
5. Cum
6. Cum
7. Gay
8. Fuck - Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny
9. Fuck You - System of a Down
10. Titties