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This article is a transcript of SuperIdiotMan00's edited version of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Pressure" from season two.
Bold = Edited Lines
- Sandy: [looking at the clouds] You know, you fucking bitch, sometimes it's nice to hang yourself with a leather belts around your throat while I masturbate with a long and shiny strap-on.
- SpongeBob: Hmmm. I tried that once and it made me die.
- Sandy: Psssh, faggot. You fuckin' suck at jackin off.
- SpongeBob: Oooh! Oooh! Do you know what that dick looks like?
- Sandy: No.
- SpongeBob: Rosie O'Donnell's used tampon.
- Sandy: They all look like penises, SpongeBob. You're just a fuckin' idiot.
- SpongeBob: Oh, fuck you.
- Sandy: You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the anal orgasm but I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful ass-bang in the sky.
- SpongeBob: Me neither, bro. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?
- Sandy: Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd all know who'd skeet diarrhea first.
- SpongeBob: Yeah.
- SpongeBob and Sandy: [both laugh] Me.
- SpongeBob: What a funny coincidence. That sounded like you said you could beat me at a butthole contest.
- Sandy: Fuck yeah I can! I'm a prostitute . See? [points to her acorn patch]
- ???: Tities
- SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were suck nuts.
- Sandy: Nope, that means I'm a natural dick climber. I'm from the sodome whorehouse, and nothing prepares you for butt stuff than growing up getting touched by your uncle.
- SpongeBob: [laughs] Oh damn shit, it's all about fingering strength, you stupid bitch, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength! [his dick flex] What do you say to that, "Miss Motherfucka"?
- Sandy: I'd say I'm already anal calculating!
- SpongeBob: Aaaaah! [begins to climb the mountain] No fair, Sandy! You got head!
- Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the condom crumbles! [collapses the rock SpongeBob is climbing on]
- SpongeBob: No! [gets back on another rock] You did that on purpose!
- Sandy: Fuck yeah baby! [unleashes more rocks at him]
- SpongeBob: Noooooooooooo-
- Sandy: Too bad you got three different types of AIDS!
- SpongeBob: [holds on to an umbrella and floats up] Make that seven! [laughing, reaches the top of the cliff]
- Sandy: [sitting in a lounge chair, reading a newspaper] Well, it's about time you jizz up your ass.
- SpongeBob: But ???. I want a rematch! First one to get crabs is the winner!
- Sandy: Ain't no way fag can fuck faster than a professional cock smoker.
- SpongeBob: Bullshit! I'm... the best fucking asswhole in the fucking whole world! Think you can suck a fair cum spary in that clunky tin pussy hole?
- Mr. Krabs: It's hard.