Does a Drill Sargeant Make a Terrible Therapist? (Edited)

Transcript 1

File:Geico- Does a gay bald headed son of a bitch make a terrible therapist?

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McGlone: Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on bullshit? Does a gay bald-headed son of a bitch make a terrible therapist?
Guy on the Chair: And that's why jacking off makes me sad, I think.
R. Lee Ermey: That's interesting. You know what makes me so horny? You do! Maybe we should chug on over to a gay strip club where maybe we could find some viagra for you and fuck my ass, you jack ass! (hands out a tissue box) Tampon? (throws a tissue box at him) Fuck you! Pussy.
Guy Voice: Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more.

Sound Clips from Transcript 1

1. Bullshit: Tenacious D - Rock Your Socks
2. Gay: Steve Vai - Fuck Yourself
3. Bald Headed Son of a Bitch: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
4. Jacking Off: Eddie Griffin: Freedom of Speech (Jacking Off)
5. So Horny: Nirvana - Lithium
6. A: To Catch a Predator
7. Gay: The Holland Boys - I'm Gay
8. Strip Club: Kutt Calhoun - Strip Club Song
9. Viagra: I Don't Know what that is!
10. And: Tenacious D - Double Team
11. Fuck my Ass: Tenacious D - Drive-Thru
12. Ass: Tenacious D - Drive-Thru
13. Tampon: A Bathroom Product
14. Fuck you!: Tenacious D - Inward Singing
15. Pussy!: Afroman - Crazy Rap

Transcript 2

File:GEICO Therapist Commerical EDITED

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McGlone: Could masturbating to Gayco really rape you up your fucking vagina? Does a horny rapist make a sexy whore?
Guy on the Chair: And that's why pussy makes me want to rape children.
R. Lee Ermey: That's retarded. You know what makes me horny? You do! Maybe we should chug on over to the Motherfucker's Strip Club where maybe we can find a pig for you to fuck, you fucking faggot! (hands out a tissue box) You want it? (throws a tissue box at him) Psych! Go fuck yourself!
Guy Voice: Gayco. 15 minutes could rape you up your asshole.

Sound Clips from Transcript 2

1. Masturbating: makemebad35 - Pissed Off Gamer
2. Gay: South Park, episode "The Ungroundable"
3. Rape you: Fred Phelps
4. Up your: Tenacious D - Drive-Thru
5. Fucking: Tenacious D - Inward Singing
6. Vagina: Jon Lajoie - Show Me Your Genitals 2: E = MC Vagina
7. Horny: To Catch a Predator
8. Rapist: Whitest Kids U'Know "Grapist" skit
9. Sexy: Tenacious D - Double Team
10. Whore: Panic! at the Disco - I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
11. Pussy: Lil Wil - Bust It Open
12. Wanna rape: Kenny vs. Spenny, episode "Who Can Commit the Most Crime?
13. Children: South Park, episode "Le Petit Tourette"
14. Retarded: rbelluso - Shamwow Dub Parody: Scamnow
15. Horny: Beavis and Butthead, episode "Vaya Con Cornholio" (simply known as bunghole)
16. To the motherfuckin' strip club: Kutt Calhoun - Strip Club Song
17. A pig to fuck: Freddy vs. Jason (Jason kills Shack scene)
18. Fucking: Tenacious D - Inward Singing
19. Faggot: derrickcomedy - National Spelling Bee
20. Crying: greenday12688 - Grandma's Kisses Dub
21. You want it? Link: The Faces of Evil (Morshu cutscene)
22. PSYCHE!: Supa Hot Fire - The Rap Battle
23. Go fuck yourself: Curb Your Enthusiasm
24. Gay: South Park, episode "The Ungroundable" (again)
25. Rape you: Fred Phelps (again)
26. Up your: Tenacious D - Drive-Thru (again)
27. Asshole: Epic Rap Battles of History - Hulk Hogan & Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Kim Jong-il

Trivia

In the second video, the company's name is changed to Gayco.