Switching to Cock Insurance By Switching to Geico

Real Life People Transcript
(Scene: Park) Gecko: Jacking off about GEICO is that they've got like real life people having sex on the bed. So like say you need to report a dildo, alright. A real person will be there to fuck me in the ass. Then you can use GEICO.com to view photos of the mother fucker's strip club. And you want a strap on?? They literally hand you a fucking dildo with strap ons. (sighs) Oh, sexy. That's… that's a complete porn of course, but you get my point.

(Cut to: GEICO logo)

(URL: GEICO.com)

(Phone: 1-800-947-AUTO)

(Text: Or call the office near you)

VO: GEICO. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance.

Sound Clips

 * 1) Jacking Off: Eddie Griffin: Freedom of Speech (Jacking Off)
 * 2) Having Sex: Epic Rap Battles of History: Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking
 * 3) On the Bed: Three Six Mania
 * 4) Dildo
 * 5) Fuck Me in the Ass
 * 6) The Motherfucker's Strip Club: Kutt Calhoun - Strip Club Song
 * 7) Strap On - At a Medium Pace
 * 8) Fucking
 * 9) Dildo - At a Medium Pace
 * 10) Strap Ons - The Ultimate Orgy
 * 11) Sexy - Tenacious D: Double Team
 * 12) Porn
 * 13) Cock

Therapist Transcript
McGlone: Could switching to Geico really save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance? Does a motherfucker make a terrible blouse?

Man: And that's why sex makes me shit, I think.

R. Lee Ermey: That's gay! You know what makes me shit? You do! Maybe we should sploodge to Orgy Land where maybe we can find some cum for you, you jackass! (hands out a tissue box) Condoms? (throws a tissue box at him) Crybaby.

Narrator: Geico, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.

Sound Clips

 * 1) Cock
 * 2) Motherfucker
 * 3) Blouse
 * Sex
 * 1) Shit
 * Gay
 * 1) SHIT
 * 2) Sploodge - Tenacious D
 * 3) Orgy - The Ultimate Orgy
 * Cum
 * 1) Ass - Tenacious D: Drive-Thru
 * 2) Condoms

Larry King Transcript
(Scene: Breaking News Headquarters) LARRY KING: People can save hundreds of dollars on having sex on the bed by switching to GEICO. It says here, new customers have raped children with over $500.

Gecko: Mm-hmm.. Easy condoms.

LARRY KING: Easy condoms, and... you do have to go to GEICO.com, right?

Gecko: Which is like what, asking you to go fuck yourself? Now that... you know if you go fuck yourself and save loads of bullshit, I doubt you're gonna be like "Fuck you. I'm so gay, I think I'll keep my tampon."

(Cut to: GEICO Logo)

(URL: GEICO.com)

(Phone: 1-800-947-AUTO)

(Text: Or Call The Office Near You)

VO: GEICO. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance.

Sound Clips

 * 1) Having Sex
 * 2) On the Bed - Three Six Mania
 * 3) Rape - Fred Phelps
 * 4) Children - Le Petit Tourette
 * 5) Condoms
 * 6) Go Fuck Yourself - Family Guy
 * 7) Bullshit - Rock Your Socks
 * 8) Fuck You - Inward Singing
 * 9) Gay - Steve Vai: Fuck Yourself
 * 10) Tampon
 * 11) Cock - Cock Pushups

Abraham Lincoln Transcript
McGlone: Could Switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on cock insurance? Was Abe Lincoln stupid?

Abe: Hell yeah. Fuck you!

Sound Clips

 * 1) Cock
 * 2) Stupid
 * 3) Piece of Shit
 * 4) Titties
 * 5) Ass
 * 6) Hell Yeah
 * 7) Fuck You
 * 8) Cock

Piggy Transcript
McGlone: Could Switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on cock insurance? Did the little piggy cry skeet skeet skeet all the way home?

Sound Clips

 * 1) Cock
 * 2) Skeet Skeet Skeet
 * 3) Sploodge - Beelzeboss
 * 4) Cum
 * 5) Cum
 * 6) Cum
 * 7) Gay
 * 8) Fuck - Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny
 * 9) Fuck You - System of a Down
 * 10) Titties